2007!

Dear God… it’s Dave. I know it’s been awhile. Months actually. But what can I say, I’ve been busy. What with the holidays and the new son… I mean, You know what it’s like having a brand new baby boy around. Late night feedings and diaper changes and… Oh, wait. You didn’t partake in any of that. You got that carpenter Joseph to do all the heavy lifting. Lucky bastard.

Anyway, now that the New Year is upon us and 2007 is a few weeks old, I’d like to take this opportunity to ask Your divine intervention in delivering us, Your righteous followers, from all the evils that plagued us throughout 2006.

-Deliver us from reality TV.
-Deliver us from bad TV.
-Deliver us from the remakes of films that were classics the first time around.
-Deliver us from celebrities who have been thrust upon our consciousness despite our protests.
-Deliver us from and Britney Spears and K-Fed.
Deliver us from Brangelina and TomKat.
-Deliver us from Paris Hilton. Seriously, the sooner the better.
-Deliver us from Mel Gibson and Michael Richards.

-Deliver us from Bobby Knight.
-Deliver us from T.O. and Ron Artest.
-Deliver us from Floyd Landis and his excuses.
-Deliver us from steroids.
-Deliver us from Barry Bonds, his swollen head, and his tainted home run record.

-Deliver us from big businesses that give it’s CEOs multi-million dollar bonuses but don’t insure their workers or pay them reasonable wages.
-Deliver us from oil companies who make record profits by raising and lowering prices as they see fit.
-Deliver us from insurance companies and pharmaceutical companies.
-Deliver us from Time Warner Cable, the worst cable company ever. Which is quite a statement.
-Deliver us from the people who complain about illegal immigration, but would then bitch about what goods and services would cost if there were no illegal immigrants.
-Deliver us from those who oppose stem cell research. I’ve always thought sick living people were more important than healthy microscopic embryos.
-Deliver us from Pat Robertson for reasons to numerous to list here.
-Deliver us from hatred and violence and racism and war. You’ve had thousands of years to do it and we’re still waiting patiently.
-Deliver us from the threat of terrorism.
-Deliver us from the threat of politicians who wish to take away our freedoms in the name of the threat of terrorism.
-Deliver us from Iraq and deliver us from the politicians who put us there in the first place. I think you know who I’m talking about.
-Deliver us from politicians who refuse to acknowledge global warming and refuse to take the necessary measures to correct it.
-Deliver us from politicians who balance their budgets by slashing funding to education and social services, rather than pork barrel projects.
-Deliver us from Republicans who have no heart and Democrats who have no spine.
-Basically, deliver us from all politicians.

Finally, deliver us from me. If you don’t, I’ll probably go forever.

Wish us humans good luck in 2007. Something tells me we’re going to need it.

Sincerely,
Dave