Will the Real Anti-Christ Please Stand Up

Dear God… it’s Dave. A good friend and I have a bet we’d like You to settle for us. Who's the Anti-Christ? Ann Coulter or Karl Rove? It has to be one of them, right? To be honest, I never used to believe there was an actual Anti-Christ. I always figured hell, eternal damnation and Satan were man-made concepts put in place by people who wished to control others through fear. But these two have me thinking twice. Maybe there is a supernatural entity of evil that spews its hate upon our world. And perhaps that entity is Karl Rove or Ann Coulter.
Now in the interest of being fair and balanced, I must confess that my political beliefs are the opposite of Mr. Rove and Ms. Coulter. But even if I shared their Conservative Republican ideals, I’d still have to look upon the means by which they go about their business as... well, evil. God, I won’t waste too much of Your time listing everything Karl Rove is accused of. I know you’re a busy deity and I’ll assume You’re familiar with his track record. For the un-omnipotent, I suggest a viewing of the documentary “Bush’s Brain.” Or you can prove to everyone what an intellectual you are by reading the book the movie's based on. Of course, Rove claims “Bush’s Brain” is inaccurate, but if even twenty percent of it is true, he’s in the Anti-Christ running.


As for Coulter... well, if you’ve ever seen an interview with her you’ve been witness to one of the most venomous human beings I’ve ever heard speak. In her latest book, “Goldless” she goes after the always-hated September 11th widows. She wrote of the widows, “I've never seen people enjoying their husbands' deaths so much.” Evil? You betcha. And if that weren't enough, she blames liberals for everything. I guess that doesn’t make her evil as much as it makes her annoying and predictable. In fact, I’m sure as I write this she’s blaming liberals for her undercooked filet mignon. “Damn you Democrats for sullying my meat!”

Perhaps the real truth is that neither of them is inherently evil as much as they are inherently greedy. Both Rove and Coulter use evil because it makes them money. In the case of Rove, his below the belt political methods have made him rich and put him in the White House where he partakes in the always fun pasttime of disclosing the identities of CIA agents. Coulter’s use of evil has made her a household name and wealthy best selling author. I’m not sure how she became “best-selling,” but I guess the American people read her books because they need someone to blame. And she blames liberals… a lot. As it turns out, I guess neither of them is Satan per se. But do me a favor… if You could in some way, single out Ann Coulter as the Anti-Christ, I’d really appreciate it. It’ll win me a hundred bucks.

Your buddy,
Dave