It's Your Prerogative

Dear God… it’s Dave. The prodigal blogger has returned. Sorry, I’ve been away so long but I’ve been really busy with work. Okay, You know that’s not true. Sorry. Many noteworthy things have happened in the world since I last blogged you. Kim Jong-il has detonated a nuclear device, the Iraq war has gotten worse and worse and as the mid-term elections grow closer, we’re learning that politicians are corrupt and sexually deviant. Who knew? But the subject I most want to discuss is the heartbreaking news that Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown are splitting up after fourteen blissful years. Whitney officially filed for divorce today and, needless to say, it’s hit me like a kick to the groin. Because if these two individuals can’t make marriage work, what hope is there for the rest of us?

I’ve always heard it said that those that “pray together, stay together.” I always figured the true meaning of that statement was that couples needed to have many common interests. I suppose it could literally mean that couples should pray together, but I know plenty of husbands and wives that did pray together and that didn’t seem to stop them from getting divorced. So I’ll assume it’s a metaphor. And an You think of a couple that has more in common than Bobby and Whitney? They’re both great singers. They both have a lot of money. They’re both washed up. They’ve both had run-ins with the law. They both seem to like drugs… So what seems to be the problem? Why can’t they work it out?

God, I’m asking You to intervene and save their marriage. After all, marriage is one of the seven sacraments you gave to man. (To be honest, I don’t really remember the other six sacraments. I’d have to look them up. But I’m sure they’re just as awesome as marriage.) And by bringing Whitney and Bobby back together, You won’t just be saving their marriage, but the marriages of all of us. Because normal people look to celebrity couples to help us through the rough patches with our spouses. When my wife and I are in a rut, we look to the Browns, or the Federlines or Pam Anderson and Kid Rock for inspiration. Because if rich, famous, attractive people can find a way to make it work, well then, gosh darn it, we all can.
So, please, send down a charming angel to get these two crazy kids back together much the way You did in that movie Whitney was in with Denzel Washington. You know the one. The Preacher’s White. Wait, that can’t be it. To be honest, I didn’t see the film, but I heard it was good. Just do whatever you have to do. We lost Brad and Jennifer. We can’t afford to lose Bobby and Whitney too.

Thanks for the help.

Your buddy,

Dave