The Naked Treatment

Dear God… it’s Dave. Can you do me a favor? I’m not sure if there’s a Hell, but if there is one, could You please make sure that Father Anthony Mercieca burns in it for all eternity? You remember the good Father (if not, his picture’s down below). He’s the Catholic priest who’s been in the news lately because Representative Mark Foley has alleged he was abused by him when he was a boy. Father Mercieca, who’s now 72 years old, retired and living in Malta, has recently stated (through his lawyer, of course) that he doesn’t feel like he should be subject to any sort of prosecution. Oh. Well, okay, Padre, if you say so.

Now, to be fair, Mercieca hasn’t admitted to “molesting” a young Mark Foley. However, he did confess in interviews to swimming naked with him, being unclothed in the same room as him and massaging him in the nude. Oh. Well, okay, Padre, if you say that’s not molesting... Sure, I suppose he could’ve done worse, but all that nudity alone should probably land him in the pokey. And once he’s there the inmates should feel free to swim naked with him, be unclothed in the same room with him and then demand a nice naked massage. In fact, all of these child molesting priests should get some of that naked treatment. But will this happen? Of course not.

While some priests have actually gone to jail for their crimes, far too many have not, which I’ve never been able to understand. As far as I'm concerned, the powers that be in the Catholic church who shipped some of these guys from parish to parish should also be sent to jail so that they too can enjoy some of the naked treatment. But none of this will happen because our government gives religious organizations a free pass. For crying out loud, they don’t even have to pay taxes. Yeah, I know. These priests have been shamed, the church has been shamed, blah, blah, blah. It’s not enough. When you ruin people’s lives, shame is not enough.

So, God, that’s why I’m calling on You. Since mankind can’t seem to find a way to punish these child molesters properly I’m leaving it up to You. When Anthony Mercieca and all his twisted brethren reach the pearly gates, you make sure to kick their asses downstairs… again, assuming there really is a “downstairs.” I have my doubts. And in the fiery pits of Hell, they can face the fire and brimstone version of the naked treatment for all eternity. Thanks.

You’re buddy,

Dave